


Somewhere I belong

by GavinsPlstcPrck



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Adorable Connor, Anal Sex, Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blow Jobs, Bottom Connor, Caring, Condoms, Gavin Reed Deserves Happiness, Gavin Reed Needs a Hug, Gavin has it but he's fine, Gavin is acting like a bull in a china store, Gay Sex, HIV/AIDS, Hank Anderson is a Good Friend, Hurt Gavin Reed, It has a hint of 'the fault in our stars', M/M, Medication, Safer Sex, Top Gavin Reed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-06
Updated: 2020-11-06
Packaged: 2021-03-08 20:53:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27423022
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GavinsPlstcPrck/pseuds/GavinsPlstcPrck
Summary: Gavin is HIV positive.He wants this relationship with Connor. But also doesn't.Gavin wants it, but he's scared shitless.---This story isn't about HIV!It's about patience, caring, proximity and trust. - And also with a slight twist.
Relationships: Connor & Gavin Reed, Connor/Gavin Reed
Comments: 6
Kudos: 41





	Somewhere I belong

_I want to heal, I want to feel,  
What I thought was never real  
I want to let go of the pain I felt so long  
I want to heal, I want to feel  
Like I'm close to something real  
I want to find something I've wanted all along  
Somewhere I belong  
_

_\- Linkin Park, Somewhere I belong_

\--------

"What's wrong with you?" Connor had asked him forcefully, and Gavin just pulled his arm away from Connor's grasp.

Connor had kissed him.

After weeks and weeks of pining, they finally got to the point of proximity. They had met at the park. At the same morning, Connor had given him a coffee, together with a note that he wanted to talk. 

Until then, they had played a game of cat and mouse, and Hank finally had enough.

"Just fucking talk to him, just like normal people do, Jesus Christ!"

First Connor couldn't deal with it, but in the end, he had bought Gavin his most beloved coffee-brand and gave him this note.

Their meeting at the park went good, till the point where Connor had tried to kiss him.

"Fuck off, Plastic Prick!" Gavin had said, pocketing his hands and averting Connor's gaze. It almost seemed as if Gavin was scared, but Connor didn't leave him be.

"Gavin, we can talk about this!" he said, but Gavin glared at him. "I said: Fuck off! There's nothing to talk about, okay? I'm just not into this whole relationship bullshit!"

Gavin had pulled out a cigarette and took a drag after he lit it. While looking at Connor, smoke emanated from his nostrils.

"That's okay," Connor had answered after a while and Gavin had looked at him in surprise.

"What do you mean?" he wanted to know.

"I'm okay, not being in a relationship with you."

Gavin still didn't understand.

"I just want to share time with you. Because you mean something to me."

Gavin had looked at Connor as if he was out of his mind. "I can't share time with you. Why don't you understand?" At least Gavin's tone was a little calmer now.

"No!" Connor replied. "You, not being able to have a relationship, isn't a proper answer or explanation for this. It isn't logical." Connor was confident that Gavin didn't want to take the risk. But slowly but surely he saw where this was going.

"You don't want _me_ , do you? It's just _me_." Connor's gaze seemed a little hurt.

Gavin made a rebuking sound. "No, it's just..."

"Then why are you like this?" Connor asked again.

Gavin dragged on his cigarette again and glanced at Connor, his glare had vanished. "In a way, you're cute if you're so hard with trying," he said, and Connor showed a crooked smile.

Gavin snapped the rest of his cigarette and grabbed for Connor's jacket. "C'mere..." he murmured and pulled Connor towards him to smack his lips against Connor's.

Their first kiss had been anything but tender.

But it was Gavin.  
Just Gavin.

Pure and dirty at the same time.

It almost defined what had followed.

Gavin acted like a bull in a china store and argued a lot with Connor. But in the end, Connor knew he just put on an act to get rid of him.

Connor knew.  
He knew too well.

***

They had been together for at least six months, and Gavin hadn't even made an effort to get intimate with Connor. Every time they started to make out, Gavin retreated right before Connor grabbed his pants.

"No!" Gavin always said.

"You don't have to be ashamed of something, Gavin." Connor always tried to reassure him.

"I said _no_!" was everything Gavin replied, his voice warning and his eyes full of panic.

Connor knew something was going on with Gavin, but he didn't want to bother him further.

The bigger problem was that Connor had no idea how to handle it.

Gavin had been like this since the beginning, so Connor let him. Maybe he just needed more time. What did Connor know? He didn't even have had a relationship before.

***

"Hank?" Connor asked his friend.

They had met up at Hank's house and watched a basketball game. Sumo laid down at their feet, while Hank stared at the TV-screen.

"Huh?" he replied, and Connor looked at him waiting.

As Hank turned his head to look at him, Connor spoke up: "How long does it take, until a couple gets intimate?" he asked, and Hank arched his brows.

Hank didn't answer for a minute, and something inside Connor told him that it wasn't normal, what he was asking.

"You've been six months with Gavin, and you didn't get intimate until yet?"

Connor dropped his gaze. "I'm useless... Maybe he doesn't like my body. Maybe I'm too ugly."

"Nonsense!" Hank said, pulling him immediately into a big hug. "It's not your fault, son. You're beautiful! Anybody who says otherwise is a fucking douchebag."

"Hank..." Connor said, slightly flattered, and he showed a little smile.

"No, it's true, Connor. Don't underestimate yourself. Did you ask him why he doesn't want to?" Hank asked.

"I did," Connor replied and sighed.

"How did he react?" Hank asked further, and Connor leaned his chin on Hank's shoulder.

"He just says No! He never explained why he's acting like this."

For Hank, it was hard to give Connor some proper advice, because he knew that he didn't want anyone to hurt him. But Gavin and him? It was a lost cause. He couldn't talk Connor out of this, because Connor loved Gavin with all of his heart. He loved him so much that he just made an effort to keep things going.

In the end, Hank just wished a functional relationship for Connor. "Con, if you dearly love him - and I know you do - just give him time. Gavin is just like a neglected dog, who wants attention, without biting. Wait for it. Maybe he'll explain someday and open up."

Hank's voice had been soft and understanding, and Connor had been thankful for it.

***

Some time passed. In the meantime, it turned autumn and leaves fell on the ground, a mix of brown and gold.

Gavin often had a day off of his work. Since he still didn't want Connor to move in with him, he didn't know what was going on.

"I've got an appointment. Nothing special," Gavin always had said, after Connor had asked him. But he never wanted to go into detail.

Their thing lasted for almost a year now. For Connor, their date at the park felt, as if it had been yesterday.

Still no affection from Gavin. Still no further proximity.

Connor was almost yearning for a chance to help him. But Gavin didn't want any help.

Every time they met, he begged Connor to leave before he went to bed. It got more and more strange.

But Connor didn't want to piss him off. So he didn't ask.

***

All this changed suddenly, as Gavin collapsed one time they wanted to go on a shopping trip. 

They just had left Gavin's apartment, and he already had looked a little sick as Connor had shown up at his threshold.

"Right, we wanted to go on that shopping trip. I kinda forgot..." He had let Connor in, and Connor was surprised by the look of his apartment. Usually, Gavin was a very tidy person, who didn't like too much dirt on the floor or else. But this time his table was overwhelmed with takeaway boxes, empty bottles of coke and a few beer-cans beside it.

The curtains were shut, and it smelled like dirty laundry.

"What's wrong?" Connor asked because he was not used to such a mess in Gavin's home.

But Gavin, who looked like a fresh white canvas from one of Carl Manfred's paintings, just made a rebuking gesture with his hand. "I must've overdone it yesterday at the gym. My muscles hurt like shit."

"We can stay here if you like. I can make you a cup of tea, and I'll help you to clean up."

But Gavin declined Connor's offer. "No, I want to buy you this nice jacket you've seen. Remember?" He approached Connor and had kissed him. "You'll look so good in this, hm?"

Connor had leaned in.

Gavin just had closed the door as he collapsed.

Connor was by his side and knelt on the floor.

Gavin had lost his consciousness.

"Gavin! Oh my god!"

Gavin had sunken down in Connor's arms, and the android searched for the keys in Gavin's inner pocket. After he had found them, he opened the door and carried Gavin back in his apartment, where he headed over to the bedroom.

Gavin wasn't heavy, not for Connor. Carefully he placed him on the bed, where he noticed, that Gavin gained back his consciousness.

He seemed still weak. "Bathroom. Get me the pills on the sink. Right side, blue sticker."

"I'll go get them," Connor said and went over to the bathroom. On his way, he already had the sudden thought why Gavin was that detailed with the description. But as Connor entered the bathroom, he was in mere shock. He never had to use Gavin's bathroom, but on its sink stood a whole range of pillboxes, signed with different coloured stickers.

"Right side, blue sticker! Got it!" Connor couldn't wait, Gavin needed his meds, but after he would feel better, he owed Connor some clear explanation.

Connor went back to the bedroom after getting a glass of water. There he helped Gavin to take the meds.

"Thank you," Gavin whispered before he sunk back on the bed and almost immediately fell asleep.

Connor stayed with him and laid on the bed. He waited, worried about what was wrong with Gavin, but he was just glad that he was there.

Gavin slept for three hours straight, and after he woke up, Connor laid still by his side.

"Did you wait for the whole time?" he asked, and Connor nodded.

"I didn't want to leave you alone," Connor said.

Gavin wiped his left eye and took a look at the clock. "Would you please leave?" he said after that and glanced at Connor again.

But now Connor didn't comply with his wish. "What if you just tell me what's going on instead?" he answered, but Gavin didn't like his suggestion.

"What should I tell you, huh?" Gavin said, his gaze tired and exhausted.

Connor was used to Gavin's swollen bags below his eyes because he just slept to less. But that collapse seriously worried him. "Don't you think after almost a year I earned your honesty?"

Gavin turned his head and took a deep breath. "What about if you find out yourself, hm? Go to the bathroom, inspect and analyse my meds. What about that?"

The tone in his voice sounded cynical, but Connor just shook his head. "I could have done that, while you were sleeping. But I just want to know it from you. It's not that I'm nosey or want to analyse you!"

Gavin sighed. "I don't even know what you want from me, Connor..." Gavin said, and Connor just further looked at him, without saying anything.

After a few minutes, he spoke up: "What was that pill you've taken earlier?"

"Painkillers!" Gavin responded without even looking at him.

"For what pain?"

"Didn't I tell you already that my muscles are aching?" Gavin sounded a little rude.

Before Connor could say anything further, Gavin sat up. Connor saw that there was something else going on because Gavin let out a moan and then grabbed his head.

"What's wrong?" Connor asked with worry in his voice.

"Fuck, I'm getting a headache..." Gavin replied and sunk back down.

"Is there anything I can do for you?" In the meantime Connor was desperate.

"Yeah, you can fuck off and stop being a pain in my ass!"

Connor knew it was something else that let Gavin act like this. He just wasn't himself.

"Should I get you a coffee?"

"No! That collides with my other meds." Gavin was honestly annoyed.

But then he looked at Connor, his eyes still drenched in pain. "Please just shut your mouth and stay with me, okay?" he finally said. It sounded like a peace offer.

Connor gave him a nod.

"Just don't... talk..." Gavin murmured while Connor snuggled against him and held him in his arms.

Within five minutes, he fell asleep again.

***

Gavin slept until the other morning.

Connor didn't wake him. He just had sent Hank a message about the situation he was in, so he and Gavin had been excused at work. Connor stroked through Gavin's hair and tried to wipe a few strands in its place. Connor had never seen him that peacefully. In a way, he was asking himself with what he deserved him.

The whole precinct wasn't able to get through to him. Just Connor!

He got it managed to touch Gavin, even to kiss him. Connor was the only person he did not bit.

Gavin was always barking, but in the end, he shivered under Connor's touch and got used to it.

Connor was sure that, if Gavin would just open up to him, it wouldn't be that bad. Another thing what he thought about was about Gavin telling him, that he should just analyse him. Connor had never done that, not even as they got to know each other.

Not because he couldn't!

He didn't want to, since it would affect Gavin's privacy.

It just wasn't right.

***

As Gavin woke up, Connor was still there. He had closed his eyes, and that gave Gavin the security he needed right now. Gavin snuggled up to him and took a deep breath.

Connor emanated a strange but pleasing odour. It was a mix of washed fabrics, a cologne, which Gavin identified as his own, and then there was something else. In an almost eerie way, it reminded him of the feeling of being home.

Gavin lingered at the moment and then opened his eyes again.

With what did Gavin deserve this?  
With what did he deserve Connor?

Connor sensed him being awake and opened his eyes just a crack wide.

Gavin replied his gaze, and in a way, Connor saw a slight smile appearing on his lips.

"You okay?" Connor asked, and Gavin nodded.

"I could get used to you laying beside me," he said.

Connor bent forward and nudged Gavin's nose with his. Then he kissed him softly. He felt Gavin's hands on his back and how he grasped his shirt. After Connor separated, they just looked at each other.

"I think I owe you an explanation, don't I?" Gavin said.

"Just if you're ready for this. As much as I would love to know more about you, you shouldn't tell me, if you're not comfortable with telling me."

But Gavin was.

It may have taken a while, but now he knew, that Connor wouldn't condemn him for it. Every other guy would have taken flight if Gavin had acted like he just did. "I am. And maybe you just will understand why things are like they are."

"Take your time," Connor encouraged him. He already saw that it was hard for Gavin to start, but he gave him time. He always did.

"I'm HIV positive."

Connor tried to act normal, while he did a quick research on the internet.

HIV could be lethal if not treated correctly and with the right medication. A proper medication could also help, but there were so many symptoms connected with it. Muscle aches, headaches, fever... so many more.

There were good and bad days.

But if someone was on the right meds, he could almost live a normal life. And now that Connor knew, it was logical for him, why Gavin always retreated if he wanted to become intimate. On the other hand, there was a simple solution to this problem.

"Since when do you know it?" Connor asked.

"Three years. Actually, it will turn four next week. Fowler knows. But nobody else."

"How did you find out?"

"It's been a friend of mine. One day he just contacted me and told me I should get tested. We just did it this one time. We both had been drunk, and I can't even remember."

"That's hard," Connor said.

Now Gavin parted from him and sat up. He leaned against the bedhead and looked down to Connor. "It's been this one time," Gavin said. "And I just fucked up." The smile on his lips was full of irony.

Connor just looked at him. He didn't want to look pitiful.

Gavin's glance dropped to his lap. But Connor cupped his chin and turned his head so that he met his eyes. "Hey, that's not a problem for me. I love you. I don't care if you have it or not. It doesn't define you. You hear me?"

Gavin looked at him in agony and placed his hand on Connor's, which immediately retracted its artificial skin.

Connor was too good for him.  
Too patient, too polite.

Connor approached him on the bed, leaning his forehead on Gavin's

Gavin loved him. He loved him more than the android was being aware.

"How's your medication?" Connor wanted to know, and Gavin sighed.

"To be honest, I'm doing good. I'm doing very well. My T-cells are quite in a good range, and I mostly can live a normal life. Two weeks ago I got a new medicament, and since back then I have some serious side-effects kicking in. But we're already at it to handle it properly. I'm confident that it's getting better. It just takes time."

Connor still looked at him, and Gavin lifted his gaze. "Now you know what kinda busted individual I am," he said, his voice sounded resigned but honest.

Connor cocked his head. "You're not busted, Gavin!" He tried to comfort him. "I love you. And I won't let this get in between us."

"I'm not even able to have sex with you. Do you call that a healthy relationship?"

Now Connor crooked an eyebrow. "Define a healthy relationship. What if I don't even have a dick to fuck?"

Gavin threw him a shocked glance and Connor laughed.

"That was a joke! Of course, I have." His voice was soft, and Gavin sighed. "On the other hand: What about all these asexual couples who don't have any sex at all?" He paused, but Gavin still didn't answer. "I don't have to mention that I'm an android and immune to such things, do I?"

"No! But I just can't. It doesn't feel right, you know?"

In a way, Connor understood. "Anyway... You know there's a simple solution for this problem, don't you?" he asked.

Gavin bit on his lip. "I know. But..." In the end, Gavin didn't know what to say anymore.

Connor was right.

But deep down inside, he was just scared.

"I gotta tell you something. Just take your time with this. It's not that I want you to do this. The only thing I want is that you think about it. If it happens, okay! If not, it's okay too."

Gavin looked at him.

"I want you to be happy. And seeing you like this, always retreating if I just touch you makes me think that you're not. You don't have to defend yourself against me, Gavin. Just try to be yourself. If that means we have a relationship without it, I'm completely okay with it."

Connor paused and picked up Gavin's hand.

"I just don't want you to limit your possibilities if there's no reason for it. Do you understand?"

Gavin nodded.

"At least it wasn't too bad laying with me in your bed, was it?" Connor teased him.

Now it was Gavin who smirked. "No, it wasn't," he said.

"See..." Connor leaned a little forward.

"You wouldn't leave me if I decide not to do it, would you?"

Connor shook his head.

"I love you." It was more a whisper as Gavin said that and it was the first time.

"I love you too!" Connor replied and kissed him softly.

***

A few days passed. One morning at the precinct, Gavin sat down at his table and looked over to Connor.

They exchanged a glance, and after Gavin looked down on his table again, Hank whispered: "What happened to Mister coffee-crack?"

Connor looked at Hank.

"He seems to be in a good mood lately," Hank wondered.

"Actually he opened up," Connor said. He wouldn't tell Hank what had happened, but his voice gave his partner the impression that things were good.

"Good!" Hank said, and Connor arched the corner of his mouth. "Good!" Hank repeated.

As Connor looked over to Gavin's desk the next time, he was just happy.

***

Within time Connor learned how to deal with Gavin. He tried to comfort him and was considerate if Gavin needed it. Their relationship developed and became something, Connor never had imagined.

Gavin was kind to him, even more than before.

They spent more and more time with each other. After two months Connor moved in with him.

Until that point, they hadn't talked about being intimate anymore.

Connor just settled in, and everything went well.

***

It was almost their second anniversary.

A few days before it, Gavin came back home. Connor looked up and went over to help him carry the bags he brought from the grocery store.

"You got everything?" Connor had asked him, and Gavin made an approving sound.

Gavin had to pause and held on to the kitchen table.

"What's wrong?" Connor stood right beside him and helped him to sit down.

"All's good. I just feel a little dizzy," Gavin said and smiled. "I'll be okay, just give me a minute."

Connor brought him a glass of water, kissed him on the forehead and went over to unpack the bags.

"I told you it would have been better if we both..."

"... Please wait!" Gavin said, but it was too late.

Connor already had picked up a certain something out of the bag.

It was a subtle black coloured box. After taking a closer look, Connor got aware that it contained some condoms.

He was still looking at it.

"You shouldn't have seen it. I wanted to surprise you with it."

Connor licked his lips. Then he put on a light smile. "I... I don't know what to say," he stated and looked over to Gavin, who scratched his neck.

He seemed slightly ashamed. "I mean, if you don't want to, we don't have to, of course."

Connor placed the box on the counter and went over to Gavin. Without any warning, he kissed him with so much passion that Gavin didn't know how to react. As Connor parted from him, he looked in Gavin's eyes.

It wasn't the thing that they would have sex now.

Connor was happy that Gavin even considered it. And this alone was a big turn for him.

"I love you so much you fucking douchebag!" Connor murmured, and Gavin raised his brows.

"Hey, watch your mouth, tin-can otherwise I'm gonna..."

The next moment Gavin was cut-off by Connor, who sealed his lips with another kiss.

***

Even if Gavin had bought the condoms, they didn't become intimate on the spot.

Gavin still hesitated, and Connor didn't want to bother him.

Time...

As sad as it sounded, but: They needed it, even if it wasn't something endless.

For Connor, it was already enough, that Gavin trusted him - Finally!

***

One evening they laid in bed.

Gavin took the last drag of his cigarette. He had already reduced it to consume them because it wasn't good for his health. But his doctor had said it would be good to reduce them step by step if Gavin wasn't able to quit it completely.

Connor turned his head and looked at him while Gavin glanced at the ceiling.

Within the last days, Connor had thought about something.

Why going the whole way at once, if there was a possibility to please Gavin otherwise?

Connor rolled on his side and supported his head with his hand by leaning on his elbow.

Now Gavin's eyes moved over, and he lifted his eyebrows.

"Would you let me try something?" Connor asked, his voice a little insecure.

"Sure. What do you have in mind?"

Connor hesitated to tell Gavin his thoughts, so he drew some circles with his finger on the bedsheet.

"What's going on in your pretty head, hun?" Gavin said, waiting for an answer.

"I was just thinking about how you would like it if I..." He just couldn't bring it up. The thought of him, pleasing Gavin by using his tongue, got stuck literally in his throat.

Now Gavin leaned forward and cupped his face with his hand, followed by a soft kiss.

Usually, Connor would reply it, as Gavin started. But this time, he brushed over Gavin's lips with his tongue, what made Gavin chuckle for a moment.

"You're a little impatient today, aren't you?" Gavin murmured, and Connor couldn't help but chuckle himself.

Connor didn't want to overwhelm Gavin, but in his mind, the mere thought emerged of just pushing his boyfriend on his back. It was like a sudden urge, but then Connor gained some courage and placed a hand on Gavin's chest. He pressed him gently down on his back and pulled away from his lips.

He looked in Gavin's eyes, and almost immediately, he saw a slight hint of panic in them. So Connor stopped before he gave him an assuring look. He brushed over Gavin's chest and his sparsely spread hair before he started to plant a few kisses on his pecks.

Gavin watched him, but couldn't hide that he liked what he was doing.

Connor made his way to his nipple and flicked over it with his tongue.

It felt so good that Gavin shut his eyes for a second before he followed Connor's actions again.

The android circled Gavin's nipple with the tip of his tongue before he gently sucked on it. Meanwhile, his hand caressed Gavin's other nipple, and Connor let him feel his hot breath on his skin.

For literally the first time within their relationship, Connor heard Gavin's moan triggered by his touch.

Gavin reached for Connor's hair and brushed through it. Connor's touch felt so good for him that he didn't want him to stop.

While Connor's hand stroked over Gavin's skin, he kissed his way downwards to Gavin's navel. He looked up at Gavin, while his tongue slid into the small hole. His lips pressed against his skin.

Gavin's breath seemed slightly aroused, and Connor sensed Gavin's length through his boxers.

Connor took a few minutes to tease him further until he let go of him and hovered up to Gavin's lips again. He kissed him gently but also willingly, and after he parted, he reached for the drawer of the bedside table.

Gavin's look was still a little scared, but also a little curious now.

Connor took one of the condoms and sat up between Gavin's legs. While Gavin stayed completely passive, Connor hooked his fingers below the hem of Gavin's shorts and pulled them down.

Gavin bit his lips, he still couldn't figure out what he was up to.

Connor gave him an assuring smile before he took the wrapper of the condom between his teeth and ripped it open. He had done some research before and exactly knew what he had to do.

Gavin wasn't completely hard yet, but Connor assumed it wouldn't take much longer if he made a little effort. Connor watched Gavin and his reactions as he clasped around his member. He was gentle and careful while touching Gavin, who narrowed his eyes. Connor saw how the tip of his tongue emerged between his lips.

He gave his hand a few movements and Gavin dropped his head back on the pillow. He sighed, and for Connor, it sounded just right. A few pumps later, he noticed Gavin's length harden up. He let go of him and tried to roll over the condom.

Gavin helped him a little, and for the both of them, the whole process felt like something very intimate. Connor was as careful as possible, while Gavin made sure, everything was safe. That Connor did everything right.

For a split-second, Connor asked himself, what would happen if he would just seduce Gavin now, but he didn't want to overwhelm him. So he stuck to the plan and just started to kiss Gavin's groin. His lips made Gavin shiver, and now that they made the situation as safe as possible, Gavin could at least relax a little.

Connor's lips brushed over Gavin's skin and made their way to his dick. First, he just planted a few kisses on it, what was already arousing for Gavin. Being touched at these sensitive parts of his, was something he didn't had in quite a long time. So Connor's kisses just felt like a slight redemption. Then Connor flicked the tip of his tongue over it, followed by its full width.

Gavin sensed Connor's warm tongue through the latex and moaned. He closed his eyes shut, and as Connor let him disappear between his lips, he finally let go. Gavin placed an arm on his forehead, while his other hand reached for Connor's hair.

Connor moaned with him in unison and let him sink deeper into his mouth. The taste of the condom was strange, and the protocol of him to produce analysis fluid went insane. Shortly after he started sucking on him, he created so much of it, that it trickled out of his mouth, leaving a trail of it on Gavin's skin.

"Oh fuck..." Gavin moaned as he noticed the feeling of docking against Connor's throat with his tip.

It was fucking perfect!

No gag reflex, no limit, Gavin's thoughts went mad.

Connor waited for a moment before he started moving in a slow but evenly pace.

Gavin enjoyed it way more than he had thought first, and after that long time of procrastination, his excitement overwhelmed him quickly. The heat of Connor's mouth got to his head, how he tightened his lips around him and how his tongue almost rubbed the climax out of him...

Gavin had never felt so good before.

The grip on Connor's hair got firm, while Connor quickened his pace. Both of them moaned, and even Connor felt Gavin's arousal spilling over, leading to a pleasurable tickle in his crotch.

As Connor took a look up at Gavin, he saw him struggle. His breath got faster, the muscles on his chest tensed up.

"Care... Careful!" It was as if Gavin wanted to warn him, but Connor just let him dive deep into his mouth one last time, and Gavin let out a suppressed groan as he climaxed. His hand jerked, while he grabbed on the sheet and his chest raised and lowered in an erratic pace.

To make things even more realistic, Connor swallowed perceptibly, and as Gavin noticed it, he let out an ardent sigh. One more time Connor sucked on him as if he wanted to suck him dry, whereas Gavin elicited another desperate moan. Then Connor let him slip out of his mouth, creating a slurping sound.

Gavin gasped for air and then took a look down to Connor, who just licked over his lips and smiled happily.

Shortly after Connor moved up to him to lean down and kiss him. He wanted to make Gavin happy - Because he deserved it. Gavin just deserved everything from him.

Gavin's reply felt exhausted, it was so soft, so tender and Connor just let it last for a while. As he looked at him again, Gavin put on a light smile. "Thank you," he whispered, and Connor was confused.

"For what?" he asked.

Gavin tipped Connor's nose with his. "Your patience," he mumbled, what earned him another smile from Connor.

"It was worth it," he answered before he kissed him again.

***

Two weeks passed.

After they'd been intimate for the first time, Gavin got relaxed a little bit.

They were happy.

After a few more days Gavin also was able to please Connor in return. Everything developed further. Sex got a topic, which was there, but it didn't have this black, shivering and bad feeling on it anymore.

Gavin enjoyed it at the fullest.

Even if they didn't go the whole way, it welded them together.

For Gavin, it was almost like the old times, where he had fun and just felt a certain kind of freedom deep within him.

They developed some rituals like cuddling for five minutes in the morning. They kissed before getting up and ready for work.

For Gavin, it was no longer a problem to fall asleep naked at Connor's side. He became confident again, and his health went straight up. "My doctor said, he hadn't seen such a good health-development in a long time," he reported happily to Connor, and his partner had looked at him.

Then Gavin had cupped his cheek and kissed him tenderly. "I love you so much," Gavin mumbled.

"I love you too, Gavin," Connor replied.

***

"Do you come over?" Gavin wrote him the message.

It was always the first question Gavin asked him if they wanted to meet up at the Ambassador bridge. It had become a habit to do this as least two times a month.

"On my way!" had Connor written back, before he left the precinct with Hank. "Can you drop me at the Ambassador bridge?"

"Of course, son." he had answered.

On their way, Hank looked at him. "Everything okay with Gavin?" he said, looking back on the road.

"Yes," Connor replied.

Hank still didn't know about Gavin being sick. Nobody did. "Where had he been today again?"

Connor didn't want to reply, but Hank had been like a father to him. He trusted him deeply. Nevertheless, Gavin had a reason why he didn't tell anyone. "He'd got a medical appointment. Nothing serious."

"Didn't you tell me last time that he had one too?"

"Yes." Connor just wished Hank wouldn't ask him out.

"You still don't want to tell me, what's going on?" Hank remembered their conversations very well, and he knew that there was more to it.

But Connor didn't want to talk about it. "No," he said, looking out of the window.

"You know you can talk about everything with me, don't you?"

Connor turned his head. "Yes, Hank. And I'm very grateful for it. But this is something I just can't talk about. It would hurt Gavin's privacy, and I don't want to do that." He hoped Hank would just understand and leave him be.

His partner nodded. "Okay. I'm sorry if I was too bothering."

"You weren't. I understand you, Hank. It's okay."

Hank gave him a warm look before he took the next crossroad, leading to Connor's destination.

"Thanks, Hank," he said, after he got out of the car.

They parted, and Connor looked after him. Then he made his way to the bench where he and Gavin always met.

Gavin sat on the backrest of the bench, a cigarette sitting between his index- and middle finger. He just had emitted a cloud of smoke before he noticed Connor. He stared at the Detroit River and took another drag of his cigarette.

Connor stopped by his side and followed his gaze.

Gavin leaned a little back before he looked up at Connor, who approached him a little and placed an arm on his shoulders. Gavin leaned against him, and Connor placed a kiss on his hair.

Connor didn't pressure him. He knew that his appointment had been important. It had been one of his regular check for T-cells and his all-in-all condition. He would tell him if he was ready.

"How was your day?" Gavin asked, and Connor tilted his head.

"I missed something."

Gavin looked at him, waiting.

"This grumpy guy, who's always calling me a dipshit and asking to bring him a cup of coffee wasn't there."

Gavin started grinning. "How bold of him."

"Yeah, right?" Connor bent down and kissed him. "Hey," he greeted him since he didn't do that until now.

"Hey," Gavin replied and gave him another kiss.

They waited for another few minutes until Gavin raised the word. "My T-cells are a little weak." He paused, but Connor didn't say anything. "They say it could be an infection, a simple cold or so."

"Did they give you another treatment?" Connor asked, and Gavin nodded.

"Yes," he said, looking at him. As Connor replied his glance, Gavin smiled.

"It doesn't necessarily mean something bad, Gavin." Connor tried to comfort him.

"I know. Nevertheless, it feels like a punch in the guts."

Connor pulled him slightly towards him.

It wasn't that his T-cells were weak. It was the sheer fear he felt deep inside and which Connor was also aware.

They stayed like this for the next couple of minutes.

Then Gavin took another cigarette out of the package and lit it. He coughed after taking the first drag and slightly snorted.

"We should drive home soon," Connor suggested, and Gavin agreed.

***

Some bad weeks followed.

Gavin wasn't healthy. He had caught a cold, and after he got his new meds, a few side-effects emerged he had do deal with. He was on sick-leave for two weeks.

Connor was worried. At work, he seemed unfocused, and one afternoon Hank had enough.

"You're going with me now it's just a fucking coffee!"

"I have to go Hank. I can't leave Gavin alone any longer," Connor said, but Hank didn't accept it.

"I'll drive you home. And on the way, you'll tell me what's going on, okay?"

Connor still retreated: "If I had been that impatient with Gavin, he wouldn't have told me what's going on until yet!" He didn't mean it, Hank knew it. Just Connor's nerves were on edge.

Hank embraced him with one arm, what Connor tried to shake off, but Hank didn't let him.

The next moment Connor clawed in Hank's jacket. He was so angry. Not about Hank, not about Gavin. It was just a wave of certain anger about the whole situation and the fact that he was powerless.

"Come... We'll go to the car," Hank said, after he had hugged him and gave him a pat on his back.

After they got in Hank's car, Hank looked at Connor, waiting.

"It almost took a year for Gavin to tell me. Now, after nearly three years, it still feels like it was yesterday."

Hank waited patiently for Connor to tell him more.

Connor didn't even glance back. "He's HIV positive," Connor confessed.

It took a moment until Hank reacted. "What?" he asked, and Connor's glance dropped down to his lap.

"Two weeks ago, they found out that his T-cells are weaker than they should be. Before that everything was fine. He's okay! But since then he caught a cold. I have to buy stuff, and I don't have time to explain everything in detail, Hank. I just can't." He seemed desperate and tried to leave the car, but Hank pulled him back.

"Hey, Hey wait!" he said, his voice calm and soothing.

Connor already wondered how Hank could stay like this. He looked at the older man.

"You'll tell me what you need, and I'll help you. Okay?"

Connor seemed so hurt, and Hank still tried to help him.

"Okay?" Hank repeated, and Connor nodded. "Okay!" Hank said.

A moment later he started the engine of the car and steered it to a nearby grocery store. On their way, they didn't talk. Hank didn't want to know more about it, and Connor didn't want to talk about it.

They bought what was necessary, and Hank brought him home. He even helped him to bring up the bags.

Gavin still laid in bed, and Connor just placed the bags on the floor. "Thank you, Hank," Connor said in a low tone.

"If you need anything, just give me a call, okay?" Hank asked, and Connor nodded. Hank waited a moment then he hugged Connor. "You got this, son!" he whispered. He even showed a smile before he left.

Connor brought the bags over to the kitchen where he unpacked them.

Still no signal from Gavin being awake.

As he was finished, he filled up the kettle to make Gavin some tea. While he waited, he sent Hank a message. "Thank you so much for your help and your discretion."

Hank's reply followed two minutes later. "Of course, son. Anytime!"

Connor placed his palms on the counter of the kitchen and his gaze dropped. Why had everything to be like this? Why couldn't Gavin just have a good life?

Some minutes later, he filled a mug with water. The smell of peppermint reached his nose, and he liked it.

It was Gavin's favourite. Every time Gavin had drunken it, he tasted just like peppermint.

Connor loved it.

He entered the bedroom. As silent as possible, he approached the bed and sat down on its edge.

Gavin snored peacefully, and Connor had to smile softly. He took a look at the clock. Connor had loved it to let him sleep, but in about ten minutes, Gavin had to take his meds. So he leaned down and planted a soft kiss on Gavin's temple.

He looked better than the morning before. Connor was glad.

His doctor's had said if his fever would go down, everything was going to get better. And they had been right. His temperature was normal, and he already looked healthier.

Gavin emanated a slight sigh before he opened an eye.

Connor took an artificial, deep breath. "Good morning, sunshine."

Gavin groaned, but he gave him a smirk.

"Time for your meds, my dear," Connor said.

Gavin looked at him, now with both eyes open.

"You look better," Connor told him. "And your temperature is normal again."

"How do you know?" Gavin asked, and Connor arched the corner of his mouth.

"Took your temperature just a minute ago."

"How was that possible? You didn't stick a thermometer up my butt without me knowing it, did you?" he chuckled, accompanied by a few sniffles.

"No... but I kissed you." Connor said. "Get to know Cyberlife's new feature for the RK800. A temperature sensory update for his lips." Connor explained, sounding like the salesman of a bad TV-commercial.

Gavin started laughing, and his laugh alone filled Connor's heart with joy. He just loved Gavin's deep voice so much.

***

The following days Gavin's health improved further. He felt a little dizzy standing up, but it got better.

After three more days he and Connor sat on his balcony. Gavin wrapped up in a thick blanket and warm clothes, in his hand a cup of tea. It was early, the birds just had started to chirp, and the air seemed fresh and reviving.

Connor sat by his side and placed a hand on Gavin's.

"I won't let pull me down because of this shit anymore!" Gavin started and looked at his partner. "If I'm getting away with this, we'll make things even better."

Connor's glance was a little curious.

"We're gonna do this," Gavin told him, and Connor tilted his head.

"You mean...?"

Gavin nodded. "I don't wanna waste any more time with not showing you how much you mean to me."

Connor's lips escaped a scolding sound. "I already know that. You don't have to sleep with me to show me, Gavin."

But Gavin shook his head. "I already regret all the time we wasted." His voice sounded remorseful.

"You had a reason. And I absolutely understand you with this. You don't have to explain yourself. I mean, I'm not human, but if I were you, I might have dealt with it the way you did. Don't condemn yourself for this." Connor tried to comfort him.

"By the way... We had to be careful anyway tho... Even if you weren't infected..." Connor looked at the skyline. There was something, Connor just got aware of a few days before, together with the update of his lips, and he was glad that they always had used condoms if they had been intimate.

"What are you talking about?" Gavin was confused.

Connor licked his lips. "Did you know that Thirium is toxic for humans?" he asked, one eyebrow slightly arched.

Gavin frowned. Of course, he knew that Thirium was a substance, which wasn't healthy for the human body. But he didn't connect the dots.

But Connor helped him to clarify. "It's not much, but there's always a slight hint of Thirium in my come. That means I would have poisened you over time."

Gavin still looked at him, but now he was a little shocked. "And you're telling me this just now?"

Connor could understand his reaction. "I just got aware of it a few days ago. With the update. I honestly didn't know."

They didn't argue. It was just a normal conversation.

"Man... and what about all these androids at the Eden Club and such?" Gavin wanted to know, and Connor bit his lips.

"That's the thing why people shouldn't seek some fun in there regularly. They just don't tell anyone because it's highly profitable."

Gavin took a deep breath.

"There's nothing you can do except using a condom. Why do you think they recommend this more and more often?"

"Damn," Gavin remarked.

A thing why Connor told this to him, wasn't the fact that they did everything right until now. He wanted to show Gavin that he understood him. He wasn't HIV positive, but there was something in him, with what he could harm other people. Especially the people he loved the most.

A few minutes passed.

The pressure on Gavin's hand increased.

"I love you, Connor," Gavin said, and Connor gave him a short smile.

"Love you too... More than ever."

Gavin leaned over to kiss him softly. "Still think we should do this, tho."

Connor's smile changed to a cheeky grin. "What doesn't kill us, makes us stronger, huh?" he asked, and Gavin smirked back, his eyebrows lifted.

"Well, I would regret it, dying without fucking you at least one time my dear," he joked, and Connor laughed.

***

With Connor's help, Gavin's health got better, and another week later he was able to work again. His medication was solved and all in all, he was feeling normal again.

Connor didn't tell him that he had involved Hank, but Hank held on to his promise not to tell anyone.

A month later, Gavin went to his next appointment at his doctor, and they awaited the results. Thankfully everything was as good as possible again.

***

After coming home from another trip to the Ambassador Bridge, they relaxed. It's been a nice afternoon. They had still a little time in the evening to sit in front of the TV.

Connor leaned against Gavin, who had placed his arm on his shoulder. Connor turned his head to smell at Gavin's shirt. He loved it so much, laying in his arm and just let the time pass. Then he noticed Gavin brushing over his upper arm and he leaned down to kiss Connor on his forehead.

Connor lifted his gaze and met Gavin's eyes. He reached up and kissed him on his mouth.

Their kiss was soft but turned a little demanding.

Then Connor cupped his cheek and brushed over his stubble. He couldn't even await the moment anymore until Gavin might scratch over his skin with it.

The next moment Gavin pulled Connor in his arms and pressed him softly on his back. Right underneath him, Connor seemed so vulnerable.

Gavin was still fascinated, that he, the high developed android, who had been constructed to subdue or arrest other androids, had given himself in Gavin's hands. That Connor completely surrendered to him. Gavin looked down on him, his eyes half shut, his lips slightly parted.

It was the moment he knew that he wanted Connor. He wanted him so bad, and within this instant, he asked himself how he could have waited this long.

Connor was everything he desired, what he ever had wanted. And here he laid in his arms and looked at him, aroused and longing.

Connor was the best thing ever had happened to him.

"Come..." he said and stood up to take Connor with him.

In the bedroom, Gavin kissed him while grabbing at the hem of Connor's shirt. After pulling it off, Gavin did the same with his, before their lips smashed against each other again. Gavin smiled into the kiss and was almost hungry as he cupped Connor's face. He steered him in the direction of the bed.

Connor placed his hands on Gavin's chest, hovered over his pecks and his hair. Touching Gavin on his nipples with his fingertips, earned Connor a moan from Gavin. Then he laid on the bed and saw, how Gavin stood in front of it, unbuckling his belt. Connor, of course, knew, where this was going and smiled at him.

With every opened button of his pants' fly, Connor noticed his artificial heart pounding in his chest. Connor stripped off his jeans before Gavin kicked his away and got on the bed on all fours.

He leaned over Connor, while his hand stroked along Connor's side and his lips explored his neckline, down to his clavicle.

Connor shut his eyes and dropped his head back on the bed.

Gavin's lips seemed everywhere, his breath created fine lines on his skin, down to his pump-regulator and his abs. Gavin's soft hands slid along Connor's sides, and he peeked up to his partner.

Connor sighed as Gavin nibbled at his skin, bit it gently here and there. With every bit, Connor shivered and then chuckled.

"You like that?" Gavin asked a deep rumble in his voice, and Connor chuckled again. Gavin came up to his lips again and kissed him deeply. Then he noticed Connor's tongue against his lips, which he parted then.

It was one of these moments, Gavin completely forgot that Connor wasn't human. His mouth and tongue were warm, and his system tried to cool down by simulating to breathe.

Connor touched Gavin's chest again before he hooked his fingers below the elastic of Gavin's boxers to pull them down. Just Gavin's kisses and efforts had made him get a hard-on.

Gavin pulled away to get rid of his shorts and immediately grabbed for Connor's which he stripped down. Just the mere look of Gavin at his erection made it twitch, and Connor saw how the angle of Gavin's mouth arched.

He leaned down and kissed Connor's hipbone, the point of his slender body, where it slightly curved. Gavin kissed his skin, which made Connor sigh.

It felt so good for Connor, and the slightest touch of Gavin would make him lose control if he went on like this. "Gavin... Please..." he begged.

"Please what?" Gavin teased him and couldn't help but licked along his member and gave Connor the full width of his tongue.

"You're playing with fire..." Connor wheezed, and Gavin came back up to him.

Gavin glanced at him, so soft and loving, but also so desperate. "Burn me!" he said, and Connor just embraced him to pull him into another deep kiss.

Then Connor sensed Gavin's hand on his dick and how he wrapped it around it to give it a few pumps.

Throughout their lips stayed connected, until Gavin needed some air. Almost in unison, they looked down between them. Even Gavin was already rock-hard, and his cock bounced slightly with every gasp he did.

Connor's arousal pooled up in his stomach, Gavin's movements in his ear, while he jerked Connor off. The sounds emerging from his glistened dick worked like a drug. It made him high on endorphins, or at least the android variant of it.

"Gavin..." he moaned again while clawing in his partner's back.

Gavin's hand got slower until it entirely stopped. He kissed him once again before he leaned over to the bedside table.

It was a process he loved to watch, so Gavin handed the condom over to Connor, who gave him a light smile. Gavin knelt in front of him, his legs spread. His erection loomed in Connor's direction.

Connor ripped the sachet with his teeth and took out the condom.

In the meantime this was something, they always processed together, and it had never been sexier for Gavin. While he clasped at the base of his cock, Connor rolled it over. He was careful, and as he had finished, Gavin just checked it over at the end, so it fitted perfectly.

Almost as if they praised each other, they set on a mutal smile and smashed their lips together.

Gavin toppled him onto his back again, and Connor lifted his legs a little. After leaning over Connor, Gavin looked into his eyes. His gaze was asking, as if he was searching for a sign of approval. After a mere second Connor nodded.

While giving his body a little support with his hand, the other wandered between his legs. Gavin slid over Connor's dick, just to help himself to line up against Connor's entrance. "Sure?" Gavin asked the last time.

"Uh-huh," Connor replied.

Gavin looked straight into his eyes as he slipped into him, just tip-deep.

Connor gasped under the stretch, which was completely new to him. He half-shut his eyes while parting his lips.

Gavin was gentle as he pressed a little deeper, giving Connor time to get used to the feeling. "Good?" Gavin asked, his heart hammering against his chest.

Connor nervously nodded, his nostrils trembled.

Connor behaving like this, made Gavin struggle. As much as he loved him, seeing him squirming underneath him, giving away these faltering sounds, made him wanting Connor even more. Gavin pulled back a little, just to give Connor another few inches with his next thrust. He had to make an effort to keep control and Connor tilted his head to the side, accompanied by a longing moan.

As Gavin's pelvis touched Connor's bottom, he leaned down to keep him quiet by kissing him. Connor welcomed him, embraced him again, and they lingered at the moment.

For Gavin, it was just perfect. Finally, he had come over his fear. Feeling Connor all around him with his tight muscle slightly twitching, he realised, that there wasn't anything better than this.

Just a moment later, he started rolling his hips, and Connor held on to him. "I love you so much, Connor," Gavin groaned, followed by a strangled sob. He hid his face in the crook of Connor's neck and closed his eyes shut.

Connor kissed his temple, gasped under his movements and just enjoyed the pure proximity of their experience.

It didn't take long until Gavin lifted his head to look at Connor again.

Connor sensed that Gavin was on his way to tip over and he just wanted to look at him when he came.

Gavin's hand ran through Connor's hair, and he squinted his eyes while moaning deeply.

A few thrusts later, Connor felt the built-up pressure in his abdomen started to shake. He flinched, and a shiver ran through his whole body. His approaching climax pulled Gavin down with it, and as Gavin increased his pace the last time, Connor couldn't hold it any longer.

He jerked, what led to Gavin, emanating a suppressed cry. Gavin followed Connor over the edge, and it felt as if he was leaving his own body. He still was captured by Connor's embrace, his body still spasmed, up till the last waves of his arousal abated.

Gavin's mind was completely absent. Within this state, he just enjoyed Connor being close.

As Gavin gained back his mind, he looked at his partner and couldn't help but to put on a slight smile. Connor replied before they shared a couple more kisses. Gavin thought it could have always been like this.

He was happy.

After looking into Connor's eyes again, he knew, that Connor felt the same.

They needed a little time until they got back to their senses. Gavin stood up and put on his shirt and boxers. Without exchanging a word, Connor got dressed, and Gavin grabbed their blanket.

Gavin opened the door to their balcony and took a step outside after he wrapped himself in the blanket. He looked at Connor and spread his arms to invite him, snuggling up in his arms.

Together they sunk to the floor and Connor leaned back against Gavin's chest. Gavin wrapped them up again, and they looked up at the stars.

The air outside was fresh but very pleasant.

Gavin took a deep breath, and Connor placed his head on Gavin's shoulder. Gavin turned his head to plant a few soft kisses on Connor's temple. "I never want to be without you anymore," he whispered.

"Me neither," Connor replied.

"What do you think?" Gavin asked while he further caressed him. "We're gonna do this or what?"

Now Connor glanced at him, a little asking.

"Wanna spend the rest of my life with me?" Gavin wanted to know and the corner of Connor's mouth curved.

Gavin didn't have to say anything further. He nudged the tip of Connor's nose with his own and gave him a warm smile.

"I thought you'd never ask," Connor answered.

"Okay?"

"Okay!"

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! <3 - Feedback is always welcome!


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